Minilogue - February 2005

Minilogue - February 2005

Taking Pause

By the Rev. Bruce Johnson

A therapist friend of mine describes psychological growth as the shift from experiencing life as “the same damn thing over and over again” to experiencing life as “one damn thing after another.” There is much truth in this gently cynical observation; we often get stuck on emotional merry-go-rounds and need to be shown the way to break the cycle - to step off the moving platform and get on with the journey of our lives. In such situations, we may need someone like the great Universalist showman, P.T. Barnum, to nudge us in the right direction. According to the story, Barnum was bothered by the fact that many of the visitors to his American Museum spent too much time lingering at the exhibits, limiting the number of paying customers he could admit. His solution was simple; near the exit door he hung a sign which read, “THIS WAY TO THE EGRESS!” Curious gawkers, thinking that an Egress was some kind of rare and exotic beast, walked down a corridor, through a door, and found themselves out on the street.

Sometimes, for our own well-being, we simply need to leave a situation, even if it is as fascinating as “the greatest show on earth.” At other time, however, rather than exiting, we need to enter more deeply into our experience, in order to understand it -- and ourselves -- more fully. It takes a good bit of wisdom to know when to leave and when to stay.

In her book, Kitchen Table Wisdom, Rachel Naomi Remen points out that we must pause periodically to wonder and reflect, in order to make our life journey conscious:

Until we stop ourselves, or more often, have been stopped, we hope to put certain of life’s events “behind us” and get on with our living. After we stop we see that certain of life’s issues will be with us for as long as we live. We will pass through them again and again, each time with a new story, each time with a greater understanding, until they become indistinguishable from our blessings and our wisdom. It’s the way life teaches us how to live.

Often we tell ourselves (and sometimes others) to just “get over it!” While it is possible to cling inappropriately to an experience that should be left behind, there are also experiences that we return to repeatedly, not because of some neurotic fixation, but because the experiences themselves are expressions of perennial themes, which we need to revisit again and again. The great psychologist Carl Jung said that we don’t really “solve” our soul’s problems--we simply outgrow them. That takes time, and a certain willingness to explore within ourselves.

It is important to take the time to reflect periodically, to step back and look at the patterns of your life, to see the cycles and the rhythms and the recurring issues. By pausing in this way--perhaps at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, a pen, and an open journal - we come to greater self-awareness, and are able to move forward in the world with gentle strength and wisdom.

By the Rev. Bruce Johnson

A therapist friend of mine describes psychological growth as the shift from experiencing life as “the same damn thing over and over again” to experiencing life as “one damn thing after another.” There is much truth in this gently cynical observation; we often get stuck on emotional merry-go-rounds and need to be shown the way to break the cycle - to step off the moving platform and get on with the journey of our lives. In such situations, we may need someone like the great Universalist showman, P.T. Barnum, to nudge us in the right direction. According to the story, Barnum was bothered by the fact that many of the visitors to his American Museum spent too much time lingering at the exhibits, limiting the number of paying customers he could admit. His solution was simple; near the exit door he hung a sign which read, “THIS WAY TO THE EGRESS!” Curious gawkers, thinking that an Egress was some kind of rare and exotic beast, walked down a corridor, through a door, and found themselves out on the street.

Sometimes, for our own well-being, we simply need to leave a situation, even if it is as fascinating as “the greatest show on earth.” At other time, however, rather than exiting, we need to enter more deeply into our experience, in order to understand it -- and ourselves -- more fully. It takes a good bit of wisdom to know when to leave and when to stay.

In her book, Kitchen Table Wisdom, Rachel Naomi Remen points out that we must pause periodically to wonder and reflect, in order to make our life journey conscious:

Until we stop ourselves, or more often, have been stopped, we hope to put certain of life’s events “behind us” and get on with our living. After we stop we see that certain of life’s issues will be with us for as long as we live. We will pass through them again and again, each time with a new story, each time with a greater understanding, until they become indistinguishable from our blessings and our wisdom. It’s the way life teaches us how to live.

Often we tell ourselves (and sometimes others) to just “get over it!” While it is possible to cling inappropriately to an experience that should be left behind, there are also experiences that we return to repeatedly, not because of some neurotic fixation, but because the experiences themselves are expressions of perennial themes, which we need to revisit again and again. The great psychologist Carl Jung said that we don’t really “solve” our soul’s problems--we simply outgrow them. That takes time, and a certain willingness to explore within ourselves.

It is important to take the time to reflect periodically, to step back and look at the patterns of your life, to see the cycles and the rhythms and the recurring issues. By pausing in this way--perhaps at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, a pen, and an open journal - we come to greater self-awareness, and are able to move forward in the world with gentle strength and wisdom.